


Five Times Peter Didn't Feel Good

by TakaiTotem



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakaiTotem/pseuds/TakaiTotem
Summary: ... and one time he did.





	1. Hunger

**Author's Note:**

> Idk if it's too late for this but INFINITY WAR SPOILERS

He shouldn't have skipped breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner.

Scratch that. He shouldn't have decided  _to not eat_ _._

The spider-themed vigilante felt his head spin as he swung from building to building, trying to power through his nightly patrol of the town. Usually, his senses were dialed up to eleven and he could perceive everything overwhelmingly quickly. However, the slight malnutrition was beginning to take its toll on his body and everything was moving in slow motion.

Scratch that. His surroundings were going by at a normal speed.  _He_ was moving in slow motion.

He took in a sharp breath as he aimed his web-shooter at another rooftop.

For the briefest of moments, his vision began to blur and darkness took over his sight.

That second was all it took for his aim to drift off entirely. He began to plummet to the hard asphalt of whatever dimly-lit road he was swinging by.

As soon as his senses came back to him, he felt the hairs on his arm rise to attention. Panic overtook him completely.

"Oh shit," he whispered as his suit's lenses displayed a small hazard sign. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

 **"Peter, may I suggest some kind of web trampoline to lessen your impact?"** his suit's A.I. chimed in, making the boy mentally face palm.

Faster than he'd moved the entire day, he aimed one arm down to the ground. Bringing his middle and ring fingers down, he quickly emptied his entire web cartridge onto the streets below him to form a large cushion of webbing. He tapped on the spider emblem on his chest and deployed his parachute, hoping that the wind resistance would slow him down enough.

Suddenly, he blacked out again.

* * *

When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was a distinct lack-of-spandex on his person. He was in his civilian clothes; he was wearing a black NASA shirt, grey skinny jeans, converse, and a dark flannel. Then, he saw that it was still nighttime. He hadn't been knocked out for too long.

Turning his head, he was greeted by the sight of an exasperated Anthony Edward Stark towering over him with a large bag of fast food.

Oh, shit. He was upstate. He was at the Compound.

"Good morning, Sleeping Stupidity," the mechanic deadpanned as he placed the bag onto a nearby nightstand. "FRI, how are his vitals?"

**"His blood pressure is still alarmingly low."**

"Which is why we don't skip meals." the man added coolly, helping the boy up before shoving three hot dogs into his hands.

Peter wasted no time in twisting off the wrappers. He scarfed all three down in a span of thirty seconds. Tony simply gaped at the boy's animalistic hunger.

"Golly, kid. Your breakfast wasn't filling, I presume?"

Peter swallowed guiltily.

"I didn't exactly eat breakfast today. Or lunch. Or dinner." he muttered.

Tony bonked him on the head with another hot dog, earning a small, 'Hey!' in response.

"You're seventeen. You should have better self-preservation skills than this. I get that you millennials-"

"I'm Gen Z-"

" _Gen Z_ kids," Tony continued, rolling his eyes at the teen. "You guys are supposed to be the depressed generation, if my knowledge of societal norms are still up-to-date, but come on! You're the Amazing Spider-Man! One day of fasting for the average highschooler is like,  _two weeks_ with your accelerated metabolism!"

"I had to do it back when I first became Spider-Man," the boy shrugged. "I guess I'm just not as used to it anymore."

"You shouldn't be used to it, period. You're an Avenger." the mechanic reprimanded.

Peter sighed.

"How long was I out for?"

"An hour or so. Karen sent a distress signal and I flew over as quickly as possible." the man explained as he checked his watch.

The kid blinked.

"Karen hasn't done that since I was fifteen." he stated, silently questioning his mentor.

Tony quickly tapped on his watch and began to play back a recording of the event, from Peter's point of view. As he landed onto the web trampoline, he whispered a phrase very quietly.

_"I don't feel so good."_

When the recording ended, Tony threw another hot dog at the teen.

"I added a string of code into Karen's programming. She'll force a call through to me if you ever utter that damned phrase. You're welcome and eat quietly."


	2. Here We Go Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck on what to do for this chapter until I realized Mamma Mia 2 came out and, like me, Peter would probably feel self conscious about wanting to watch it while also being a teenage male surrounded by toxic masculinity.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”

Peter, Ned, and MJ were all shaken to their cores as Tony’s voice blared at them from the passenger’s seat. The three friends were in the back seats of the Audi that Tony bought for Pepper, who was driving with a bemused look on her face.

”Of all the times, of all the ways you could have said it, it had to be during the  _one time_ we were all in the same theater! By complete coincidence, even!”

“Helicopter parent, much?” MJ grumbled, shifting awkwardly under the mechanic’s deadly glare.

”Can it, Michelle. And Ned, you weren’t helping by incessantly sobbing, ‘I don’t wanna go,’ either!”

”I GET REALLY INTO THESE MOVIES!” The asian shouted indignantly, immediately shrinking back down once he processed his outburst.

Ned looked to Peter for any sort of help. Peter, who had his wrists bound together by a string of his own webbing.

The teenage vigilante rolled his eyes and tugged his wrists apart once more, only managing to stretch the makeshift handcuffs by half an inch.

He sighed. Of course his stupid nanotech suit could hear the trigger phrase even when it was deactivated. Of course it had to enable enhanced combat mode in the middle of a freaking movie. Of course Iron Man had to be in the same theater at that very moment to attack a threat that wasn’t even there.

Stupid trigger phrase.

”I’m sorry. It was a really good movie.” whispered the boy.

He grimaced at the sight of Tony’s angry eyes.

”SO THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY, ‘I DON’T FEEL SO GOOD,’ DURING _MAMMA MIA_?!”


	3. Cleanup on Aisle 17

Peter groaned in frustration.

He’d been walking around Costco for almost an hour, blindly searching for Mr. Stark on their trip to buy groceries. However, due to his (admittedly short) attention span, Peter wandered away from his mentor’s side to gush over the new camera models on display.

That was when he lost the mechanic.

Peter could feel his head swimming as his senses were overwhelmed. The cold air of the freezer brushed against his pale skin, making him shiver. The kids behind him were laughing and screaming about some YouTuber. The aroma that came from the floral department was making his nose crinkle in disgust.

He hated shopping. And at the moment, he hated Costco.

Damn them and their ridiculously cheap hot dogs.

The thought of food made his stomach rumble. He just wanted to eat already!

Suddenly, Peter smirked as a mischievous idea popped into his head.

He hid behind a stack of boxes and screamed, “MR. STARK, I DON’T FEEL SO GOOD!”

Cue Iron Man bursting through the wall, repulsor’s charged up and ready to attack.

“HANDS OFF MY KID!” Tony shouted, to the amusement of his mentee.

A few aisles down, a poor worker fainted.


End file.
